David Beckham - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

What a day! Victoria won't believe this. I've just got back from Beijing. Do I look yellow?

On Friday I just finished vacuuming our green carpet in strips like at Wembley, then I caught the bus to get some burgers for Romeo's tea. The bus reminded me of one of those double-deckers in London. It was red anyway.

There was some top totty on the bus I'll tell you! (though don't tell Posh); birds with violins, singers in short gold dresses. Weird I thought. Except this old geezer with grey hair sat next to me and tried to strike up a conversation with me He said his name was Jimmy something or other, and that he was in a rock group, but I had other things on my mind and the conversation went down like a Led Balloon.

When the bus finally stopped we were in this giant birds nest and the roof of the bus opened. There was some sort of stage that lifted up and this old geezer started playing his guitar. He was flipping good. I wonder what I'll be like when I get to his age?

There were hundreds of people there and someone threw a football at me. I wanted to show them that I could still bend it like Beckham - hang on, I am David Beckham! So I booted it into the crowd - now they won't give me my ball back.