David Beckham - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

I returned to Galaxy a few weeks ago and it really is a place far from home. The crowd keep shaking their large believes at me and showering me with their bad vibrations. I can hear them chanting at me, calling me a "Judith", I don't know any Judith's, I don't know what they mean.

This week a man wearing an England top shouted, gibbered and growled at me, I tried to pretend to fight him, knowing the security guards would pull me back before he got near, I bravely shouted "you shouldn't wear an England top and shout at me, I'm a knight of the realm", I'm not really sure what it meant but I saw it on TV once, on this show about Monty's python and the holy Gail.

I can't wait to go back to Milan, they have pizza. The other day a waiter with Moustache said, would you like me to cut your pizza into 4 or 8 slices, I said I would like 4 because I couldn't eat 8 slices, he laughed and shook his head, he spoke some jarbled words to his friend and they laughed. They like me in Milan.