Boris Johnson - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 12 September 2009

Cripes! A ballyhoo diary! Whatever next! Cripes!

7.00am Or is it? Can't really tell as the '0' on the clock seems to sometimes be an '8'. So it could be 7.88am. Cripes! Is that the time? I was meant to be up at 7.00.

7.30am Big meeting with some chappie from Iceland. My secretary says he's a Lord Mayor or something. Cripes! I never knew supermarket freezer chains had Lord Mayors. I wouldn't mind being Lord Mayor of Selfridges myself. Anyway, he'll be along sometime this morning. Wants to see a London bus. They're big red things on the streets you know. Like cars, only much, much bigger. He'll be along later.

9.88 Time for another meeting. Or maybe it should have been at 9.00. Cripes! What ho!

10.00 That nice Chap from the BBC called again asking if I'd like to be on his 'Have I got News for you" programme. Some type of television thing where I go on and answer silly questions about being Mayor. They have guests on or someting. Very entertaining I believe. That chap from Private Spy, the bug equipment magazine is also on, er, Ian Lopsop or something. Crikey. A great man don't you know.

1.88 Lunchtime. or is it 1.00pm. Crikey. Must get my skates on for this meeting with the supermarket mayor chappie.

2.88 or 2.00pm Off to the meeting with that chap so I'll report back later.