Boris Johnson - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 17 October 2009

Dear diary

Ken put some dead fish behind the radiator when he left. That is such a purile thing to do. I must remember it for when I get the boot. Stinks like an Eastend landlady, verr, verr good trick.

I caught that Greek fellow, HRH Philip, letting the tyres down on my bike yesterday. He is an odd chap. I'll have to mention it to Missy Quin next time I go round for tea and bourbons.

I was led to believe they were emigrating, but I found them crouching behind the dustbins when I visited last.

Verr odd behaviour.

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