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Caine throws Allardyce off car park

Funny story: Caine throws Allardyce off car park

MICHAEL Caine has thrown "Big" Sam Allardyce off a multi-storey carpark in Newcastle to confirm the end of the former-Bolton boss's tenure at St James's Park.

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Bush to 'Bomb Iran into the 18th Century"

Funny story: Bush to 'Bomb Iran into the 18th Century"

WASHINGTON DC: Leaked tapes reveal that President George W Bush believes bombing is the best way forward for the Iranian people.

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Presidential thought could be in wrong hands - fears for Bush mind.

Funny story: Presidential thought could be in wrong hands - fears for Bush mind.

WHITE HOUSE staff are rumoured to be working around the clock on the presidential brain after George W. Bush announced he had shared his thoughts with visiting UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

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"Blair, you t**t!" outburst confirms Brown's break with past

Funny story: "Blair, you t**t!" outburst confirms Brown's break with past

TONY Blair may be about to encounter one of the most troubled political scenes in the world as Quartet peace envoy to the Middle East, but he's none too welcome back in Downing Street if reports from the start of the Brown years are to be believed.

Read full story View '"Blair, you t**t!" outburst confirms Brown's break with past'

£14 million social eduction programme: "Behave you little f****rs!"

Funny story: £14 million social eduction programme: "Behave you little f****rs!"

BRITISH children are now such foul mouthed f*****g animals the Government is to spend 14 million f*****g pounds on drilling some manners into the little sh*ts. The announcement of classes in behaviour and social education caused a storm when it h...

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"Greens are right." Bush announces badness offsetting

Funny story: "Greens are right." Bush announces badness offsetting

WASHINGTON DC: President George W Bush has, it seems, embraced the messages of the green movement and now plans to trump them by offsetting his evil.

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Brown's outsource the monarchy shock

Funny story: Brown's outsource the monarchy shock

GORDON Brown may carry through sweeping reform of Britain's confused constitutional situation by taking the prudent option and outsourcing the monarchy.

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Blades and Hammers cast into eternal limbo

SHEFFIELD United will be promoted from their current Championship status, West Ham United will lose their Premiership place too as FA bosses cast them both into mid-division limbo. The Blades, who were ejected from the top flight on the last day...

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'Darker' Potter drug orgy scene set to shock parents

Funny story: 'Darker' Potter drug orgy scene set to shock parents

The eighteenth instalment of JK Rowling's Harry Potter series will shock it's young fans critics are warning. Harry Potter and the Elixir of Rave will show teen heart-throb Daniel Radcliffe's character 'up to his pimply neck in high quality drugs...

Read full story View ''Darker' Potter drug orgy scene set to shock parents'

Boycott in hospital, W Indies apologise

GEOFFREY Boycott, the Yorkshire and England opening batsmen and cricket commentator is recovering in hospital after his ire came close to exploding during the recent test series between England and West Indies. Yorkshire-born Boycott was reported...

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Vaughan still fit despite loss of movement

Funny story: Vaughan still fit despite loss of movement

ENGLAND will take to the field against West Indies on Friday with Michael Vaughan at the helm - in full body scaffold and iron lung.

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Lampard fights with self - transfer auction sparked by split soccer ace

Funny story: Lampard fights with self - transfer auction sparked by split soccer ace

MENTALLY troubled Premiership ace Frank 'Lamps' Lampard has quit Barcelona just days after revealing he couldn't play alongside himself at Chelsea any more. Lampard set off for the Camp Nou hoping that the absence of himself from the line-up at th...

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"What's this Mammy?" Toddler reignites Northern Irish conflict

Funny story: "What's this Mammy?" Toddler reignites Northern Irish conflict

The curiosity of a child could mean that hundreds of years of religious intolerance and conflict are back on in Northern Ireland after a brief interlude of peace.

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Lampard out, divided self splits for Barca

FRANK 'Lamps' Lampard threw a wet and unpleasantly musty smelling blanket over Chelsea fans celebrations at their historic FA Cup win at the new Wembley Stadium.

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"Mind if I join you?" Skaggy judge asked freed crack dealer OAP

Funny story: "Mind if I join you?" Skaggy judge asked freed crack dealer OAP

GRANDMOTHER of five, Dorothea Wilberton, has sparked a legal controversy after a judge directed a jury to acquit the 76-year-old of drugs charges after accepting her argument that crack cocaine was 'like a tonic' to her.

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Harry's Iraq outburst: "F*** 'em I'm Orf!"

Funny story: Harry's Iraq outburst: "F*** 'em I'm Orf!"

THE Ministry of Defence and Buckingham Palace press offices are filled with red-faced, wheezing, heart-attacks-waiting-to-happen after the truth about the posting to Iraq of up-and-at-em Royal bullet magnet Prince Harry was revealed this week.

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Troubled Barton's clothes not fresh - "Inconsolable," say pals

Funny story: Troubled Barton's clothes not fresh - "Inconsolable," say pals

To many he's the mote in the black eye of the unacceptable face of football, but friends of Joey Barton have portrayed an altogether gentler side of the wild man of Manchester City this week.

Read full story View 'Troubled Barton's clothes not fresh - "Inconsolable," say pals'

Warnock in chip-child near miss

Funny story: Warnock in chip-child near miss

SHEFFIELD United manager Neil 'The Anagram' Warnock and several dozen children were lucky to escape unharmed when one of the chips on the Blades' boss' shoulder became detached during a school visit.

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