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Showing stories written by Terry Firmer

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Funny story: Hislop's Hat called to Hacking enquiry

Hislop's Hat called to Hacking enquiry

Notorious quip-merchant and panellist on 'Haven't I got News for You?' Ian Hislop's hat is to be called to give evidence at the Leveson inquiry into press ethics. The famous fedora has so far refused to speak but is expected to give evidence follo...
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Funny story: Steps reform as 'Stairs'

Steps reform as 'Stairs'

Popular 90's beat combo 'Steps' are to make a comeback under the new name 'Stairs' due to legal complications. The band - the tall fit one, the bird with Hitler hair, the fat one, the gay one and the other one - will do a nationwide tour including...
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Funny story: Rupert Murdoch to star in Eastenders

Rupert Murdoch to star in Eastenders

Billionaire tycoon Rupert Murdoch is to join the cast of Eastenders, soap bosses have revealed. The mega rich Aussie will play Pat Butcher's twin sister, Vera and join the cast in November. Writer Lawrence Smythe-Williamson confirmed the news '...
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Funny story: Steve Davis not Ginger

Steve Davis not Ginger

Snooker legend Steve Davis has sensationally revealed he dyes his hair ginger. The popular potter who won a lot of matches way back said 'I needed an angle. Ray Reardon looked like Dracula, Dennis Taylor had his comedy glasses and Alex Higgins wa...
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Funny story: Carolgees Doesn't Exist Says New Study

Carolgees Doesn't Exist Says New Study

Boffins at Macclesfield University have made a startling discovery that the Surprise, Surprise sidekick Bob Carolgees is figment of Mankind's imagination. The shocking discovery follows a 12 year investigation by the top academic institution which...
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Funny story: Wantaway striker Carlos Tevez hires Scargill

Wantaway striker Carlos Tevez hires Scargill

Manchester City and Argentina forward Carlos Tevez has signed up former strike leader Arthur Scargill to organise a march in his name. The scarfaced player is fed up with the backlash since his apparent refusal to play against Bayern Munich in the...
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Funny story: She sells sea shells on sea shore! The shocking decline of Michelle McManus.

She sells sea shells on sea shore! The shocking decline of Michelle McManus.

Roly-Poly Pop Idol loser Michelle McManus has been uncovered on Berwick beach with a makeshift market stall. The rotund reality show 'star' shot to fame in the 2003 edition of the popular Simon Cowell show with stunning renditions of songs by Fats...
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Funny story: Britain's favourite meal is... Brunch!

Britain's favourite meal is... Brunch!

The UK is going bonkers for brunch according to a new survey. 42% of Brits no longer eat breakfast while a staggering 98% have taken up the mid-morning meal instead to save time. Kate Tin of Durex who ran the poll explained the findings 'People...
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Funny story: Newspaper in giveaway storm

Newspaper in giveaway storm

A national newspaper has created a furore by offering a free cigar for all readers. The Express Daily celebrated it's 'Churchill week' by declaring 'now you can look like the great man with the cut out and keep bald head plus free cigar'. Steve...
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Funny story: City closes for business

City closes for business

The global recession has claimed it's latest victim - the city of Derby. The metropolis' Mayor, Shaun Carey, yesterday announced that due to the Eurozone crisis it had no option but to cease trading. Speaking outside the city's cathedral a tearful...
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Breaking News...

Donald Trump Does Ice Bucket Challenge and Melts Away

"I've never seen anything like it-first his hair turned green and then he started to melt" said a bystander. "Just like the Wizard of Oz!" shouted another. Everyone then cheered for 2 hours straight.

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