Written by Terry Firmer
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Tuesday, 27 September 2011

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Never have so many owed so much to one newspaper.

A national newspaper has created a furore by offering a free cigar for all readers.

The Express Daily celebrated it's 'Churchill week' by declaring 'now you can look like the great man with the cut out and keep bald head plus free cigar'.

Steve Stubb for the Anti-Smoking Council said it was 'disgraceful behaviour and what message was it sending out to youngsters?'. He continued 'I love Winston Churchill as much as the next man but this is ridiculous. You don't even need to collect tokens and least that would put some off!'.

However Perry Wogan of the Cigar Alliance welcomed the news: 'We always encourage responsible cigar smoking for example after a meal or sexual intercourse. As long as people do this we don't have an issue with the promotion'.

The paper was unavailable to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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