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Sunday, 20 February 2011

image for Small Tourist Boat on Lake Windermere Overturned by Lake Monster, Three Missing

Coming on the heels of a couple who claimed they saw a "Nessie-like' lake creature while out on Lake Windermere in England, it has been reported that something very large has overturned a small boat of tourists who were out to get a glimpse.

"We got a glimpse alright", stated a very wet Homer Lacefield from Little Rock, Arkansas in the US. "There we was. Out there like a bunch of hair-brained idiots with our bi-knockers and the next thing we knowed that big thang had swum right under the boat. A big head rose and looked me in the eye and I shat right whar I stood."

Homer stated that the next moment he was "spinning sidewise and sorta catty-cornered and trying to get ahold of the boat that was now on it's side."

"Here's Alice, my wife. You tell them Alice."

"I-I can't Homer. Mama's still missing."

"Oh yeah, I plum forgot about her. The last I saw of her she was on that thang's neck, attacking it with her purse....or it could have been the other way around."

Meanwhile the police had arrived and a two members of a search party were returning with a fat old woman.

"Look Homer, they got Mama. She looks OK. Still got her purse."

"Well, joy to the world. She probably killed that thang if she hit it as hard as she does me."

Police are still searching for the other two but fear that they were drowned and then eaten alive.

"You worried about me, Homer Lacefield?"

"Oh, joy to the world. I was jest about to fling myself back into the water to come lookin' for you, Mama. But them bossy police divers wouldn't hear of it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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