Scotland - (Big Bang Theories): The details remain unclear whether it's Scotland's secret underwater mini-Hadron Collider that's exploded or if it's the missing Russian Akula-class submarine, sent potty by Stuxnet!
Commenting on the incident Strathclyde Police sources said this afternoon a massive great big bang occurred around
Bits of unidentified mammalian organs, believed to be part of the Loch Ness Monster, were seen splattered around a five mile radius of the baleful Scottish loch.
Local fishermen say it could have been a build-up of intestinal gasses that caused 'Nessie' to explode.
Another theory suggests a missing Wartime bomb might have gone off, disturbed by conger eels during the late November rutting season.
Chief Superintendent Haggis O'Sporran said today: "If it was an effin bomb it must be bloody Al-Fookin Qaeda!"
No one has claimed responsibility yet and the area remains sealed off pending forensic tests.