Written by Bobby Fontaine
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Sunday, 6 March 2011

I got some emails from whom I believe is either Lady Gaga or her producers encouraging the idea that she is going to announce her candidacy for President on 11/11/11. I can't prove that's who the emails are from but whoever sent them is relating information about her new video Born This Way that it would seem only her inner circle would know about. My impression is that they want to build this into a mystery leading up to November 11, 2011, which is the reason for being so cryptic. On the other hand, they want everyone to know what's coming so the story will market itself until then. That's actually a pretty good idea,, while the other candidates are handing out bumper stickers and calling each other idiots, she'll just keep doing her job making millions of dollars performing. Here's the story, you can decide for yourself whether you think the emails are from her camp or not -

Last week I published an article here at Spoof.com titled "Lady Gaga running for President of United States in 2012" It seemed to do well and a lot of people checked it out. It actually wasn't much of a spoof, except the title. The article itself made a pretty good argument that Lady Gaga is setting the stage for something big to happen on November 11, 2011, perhaps announcing she's going to run for president. "Is Lady Gaga running for President of United States in 2012?" would have been a totally appropriate title with no spoof intended. By removing the word "is" and the question mark, I turned it into a spoof.

I had actually been posting the article on the internet with a non-spoof title. Then I posted links to it on the comment boards of Lady Gaga news article. That's how I came across Spoof.com and happen to notice a link for spoof writers. So I signed up and posted it with a slightly different title.

November 11, 2011 is significant because it's 11/11/11 and a lot of people are making a big deal about it. The reason it's relevant to Lady Gaga is her new song "Born This Way" was released on February 11, 2011, the conception date for babies born on 11/11/11. She followed it up with her big entrance to the Grammy's in an egg that she was born out of on stage. She claimed she had been in the egg for three days before the show, which means she entered it on February 11. So I figure she has something big planned for November 11 and believe it's to announce she's running for President.

When I saw no one in the news media was picking up on the Born This Way/11/11/11 angle, I started thinking about doors that could open for me if I broke the story. It seemed so obvious to me that she wants a lot of anticipation to build towards whatever she has planned for November 11. But no one was launching a campaign to draw attention to the mystery so I figured I would see if I could exploit the story for my own personal gain.

Clandestine Candidate

Some years ago, when thinking about how fed up I am with the American political process, I came up with an idea for a reality TV show to choose the President of the United States for the 2008 election. My frustration is with how much effort and money goes into elections only to produce politicians who then go to Washington to expend more money and effort to,,, well, pretty much get nowhere. It's like how the IRS costs us as much time and money to comply with tax laws as it produces in revenues. It seems to me it would be easier for them to just print the money they need to run to government and stop wasting our time trying to give it to them. With the political process, it makes more sense if politicians used campaign money and volunteer time to actually solving problems. That's what the TV show idea is about, candidates competing to solve problems rather than just talking about what they will do if elected.

In 2008, I put out a video explaining the idea and built a website to promote it.

It didn't catch on but I still think it's a good idea. So I was hoping I could ride Lady Gaga's coattails to make the show a reality by trying to break this story about her running for president. 3 days ago, I got this email -

Date: Mon, 28 feb 2011 09:09:23 -0800 [09:09:23 AM PST]
From: Angel House l1425g171@yahoo.com
To: bobbyfontaine@bobbyfontaine.com

Subject: Born to Run This Way

In the beginning, the founders created Freedom. They fought for Her and won an

epic war. Her shores were tattered as her enemies regrouped. George bought Her a

Navy and the Revolution was reborn

I didn't get it at first. A search of Angel House showed multiple references. The email address looks like it was generated by spam software and the subject and content seemed meaningless. So I deleted it. A little later, I got a Lady Gaga update about the Born This Way video and thought about the subject line in the email. I didn't remember what it said and about kicked myself for deleting it. Then I remembered I have a "deleted email" file on that account. I hadn't cleared it out yet so I went back and figured out how to retrieve it.

Born to Run This Way, without "to Run", is Born This Way. With "to Run" added, it seems to be saying what my article claims, that she is using the song to announce she is running for President. Then the poem started to make more sense. After a search of "George Washington" and "Navy", I learned how after the American Revolution, George Washington bought the country a navy for $688,888.82 in order to protect our coasts and shipping industry. So it all fit with my article. But it still didn't make sense.

The same day I got the email, her Born This Way video came out. At first glance, I thought it was about children born to unwanted pregnancies. It made me wonder of Gaga was the product of a defective or tampered with condom, maybe one that had been damaged by a defective IUD, which would be the gun she gives birth to. I know that doesn't make any sense, it's just that the video seemed so twisted at first, very nicely twisted I might add, perhaps the most artistic music video ever made.

I really liked it so I watched a few more times before it struck me what it might really mean. So I went back and read the poem in the email again. Here, see for yourself, these are the words to the little story at the beginning of the Born This Way video -

"This is The Manifesto of Mother Monster. On G.O.A.T, a Government Owned Alien Territory in space, a birth of magnificent and magical proportions took place. But the birth was not finite, it was infinite. As the wombs numbered and the mitosis of the future began, it was perceived that this infamous moment in life is not temporal, it is eternal. And thus began the beginning of the new race-- a race within the race of humanity-- a race which bares no prejudice, no judgment, but boundless freedom. But on that same day, as the eternal mother hovered in the multi-verse, another more terrifying birth took place-- the birth of evil. And as she herself split into two, rotating in agony between two ultimate forces, the pendulum of choice began its dance. It seems easy, you imagine, to gravitate instantly and unwaveringly towards good. But she wondered, 'How can I protect something so perfect, without evil?"

As she starts to talk about the birth of evil, the scene in the video changes from her being a goddess or queen figure to giving birth to a gun, which is explained to protect "a race which bares no prejudice, no judgment, but boundless freedom", like the navy Washington bought to protect our new nation and the principles set forth in its Constitution and Bill of Rights. There's even a part in the video where there's a circle of numerous machine guns firing, kind of like the way our first battle ships had ports down the length of the ship that canons fired out of.

The first thing I thought was that I was being spoofed. But it does look like the message behind the song and video has a lot of American history overtones that support my theory that whatever she has planned for 11/11/11 has something to do with her running for President. So I took a shot in the dark and replied to the email sending a link to the video that explains my idea for a political reality TV game show, which I call Clandestine Candidate. I chose the name because I thought the concept would appeal to the American people but not so much for the political establishment, which would be fine. While they follow their path of going nowhere, the candidates on the TV show would be busily working to solve the nation's problems. So whether elected or not, a lot of positive changes would come out of it. Clandestine refers to how the American people have to take their elections process semi-underground, or out of the mainstream, in order to get anything done right in this country.

I guess I was hoping it was Lady Gaga who sent the email and that she would respond the reality TV show idea liking the idea. Then it would take off from there. What I got back was an email with no text in the subject line and nothing but an exclamation point in the message itself. The sender's email address however was QueenMonster@HushMail.com. I don't know exactly what it all means or if it means anything. But it looks to me like someone wants me to think that Lady Gaga wants to be a candidate on my TV show. The email address reads like it might be saying "Lady Gaga @ Clandestine".

I'll admit this has got my hopes up. The problem is that if whatever she is up to won't be revealed until 11/11/11, I got no way of knowing what this is really all about. The only thing I can figure is that whoever it is from wants me to think what I am thinking and publish an article about it. So here it is,, I don't know if this is a spoof or not, it is what it is until it's something else or turns out to be nothing.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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