Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 3 July 2010

image for Guys From 117 Different Countries Are Lining Up To Date "The $750 Million Woman" Elin Nordegren!
Elin Nordegren now known world-wide as "The $750 Million Woman."

NEW YORK CITY - The soon-to-be rich ex-Mrs. Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren has confessed to a very close friend that since the announcement that she would be receiving $750 million in her divorce settlement she has received over 13,900 date proposals from 117 different countries.

Elin expressed how pleased and flattered she was but she added that she will just take a 'wait and see' attitude before she even considers going out on a date.

Her close friend and confidante Inger Sundsvallsen stated that if and when Elin decides to get back into the dating game, the first few dates will be asked to come to her home, or more exactly mansion where the dates will be frisked and have their private orifices checked.

The gentlemen suitors will then be made to sit between two of Ms. Nordegren's security staff members during the entire course of the date.

Sundsvallsen said that men are the absolute last thing on Elin's mind at the moment. She said that her kids, her extended family, and her new pet poodle, which she has aptly named, "Money, Money, Money" are foremost in her life at the moment.

In other news. Kanye West's autobiography entitled "Hey People, It Was Just A Little Damn Microphone For Goodness Sakes" has racked up nationwide sales of 8 copies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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