A very upset Elin Nordegren Woods apparently used a Big Bertha driver on Tiger Woods late last night, after he tried to get custody of their kids by telling social workers that he was on a chemical castration drug and that he would be staying with the kids without any girlfriends around.
Earlier in the week, Tiger stated that he was on the chemical drug so that he could take back his life and his role as a husband and PGA Golf Player once again.
"Tiger seems to think that I will simply allow him to move back in here and life would go back to being what it was before I found out that he was unfaithful to me over 5,000 times", stated Elin.
Tiger actually thought that by allowing himself to be chemically castrated, he could concentrate on his family and golf game.
"I forgot that I would be impotent with Elin. There's always a catch, isn't there? I'm going to go back and see if they can turn this thing on and off...like a big spigot!"
"I'm glad he can still make jokes but he knows what will happen if he comes close."
Apparently he didn't, as Tiger was rushed to a hospital this morning while in the fetal position. I guess the next Big Four PGA event is out for now