Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 23 December 2009

image for Tim Robbins Finally Dumps Susan Sarandon
Robbins has said that Sarandon has really aged in just the past year. Here she is wearing a designer bedspread on her head.

VENICE BEACH, California - Well it was bound to happen sooner or later. Tim Robbins has ended his 23 year relationship with Susan Sarandon.

Robbins stated that he and Sarandon will remain close because of their two boys, Joyful, 21, and Malarkey, 20.

Tim and Susan first met on the set of the film Bullcorn Durham. Interestingly in the film she played a male baseball player and Tim played the male baseball player's wife.

They both won an Academy Award that year for their crossdressing portrayal which totally confused the majority of the movie goers, theater ushers, and even the film's director on two different occasions.

Tim was asked why he had decided to dump Susan after being together for 23 years. He replied that there were two very good reasons. One, he said that he is an avid New York Mets fan, and she is an avid New York Yankees fan.

He said that during the off-season things were fine, but once spring training came along, it was literally hell from April to the end of the baseball season in October.

Robbins said that the second reason was just the damn age difference. He said that he recently turned 51, and Susan recently turned 93. He shook his head and said that the 42 year age difference is just a little too hard to take.

He says that sometimes she would start coughing on Monday afternoon, and would not stop until Tuesday evening. Other times he would ask her how she was doing and she would answer that yes, she would like a cup of hot cocoa thank you.

Sarandon was asked what she thought about the divorce. She smiled and said that she did not own a horse.

Robbins said that he will remain in their Manhattan apartment which he will share with his Swedish maid, Ingrid Fellsson. Susan will reside in their Venice Beach House with their three miniature Chihuahuas, Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld.

In regards to the kids. He and Susan have agreed that she will get sole custody of Joyful and he will get sole custody of Malarkey.

He added that they have $4 million in their joint checking account and that they will split it evenly. He will get $3 million and Sarandon will get $1 million.

In other news. Word coming out of Hong Kong is that China's planned invasion of Chile has been temporarily postponed due to the panda bear epidemic.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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