London - (Boil-on-the-Bum): Is the UK singing sensation the thirteenth slut to crawl out of the sordid Tiger Woods shagging woodwork?
Intimate footage of HM's illegitimate daughter Susan Boyle giving Woods a bareback run for his bad-assed shagging money are sending tremors through the Palace.
"Susan wore him out at Gleneagles last summer," a royal lackey commented about the YouRoyalBoob! channel graphic sequence.
"She's probably ther only woman alive to pin him down for the full fifteen rounds and still demand a blowjob!"
This afternoon the government's COBRA emergency management committee went to court in an attempt to pull the footage on national security grounds.
A second video recording is rumored to be hitting the net sometime this weekend prompting fears it could be Tiger's 18th birthday royal initiation.
"This other footage is the real killer," YouRoyalBoob editors admitted.
"He clearly gagged at the inmitiation rites. But whaddahell? It's not often a guy like that gets to perform the intimate Act of Obeisance on the royal personage's family jewels."