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Saturday, 12 December 2009

image for Susan Boyle: Elvis I Saw Was Naked

"You all are just jealous because when I saw Elvis that time, he was naked as a jaybird."

This comes from singer sensation Susan Boyle when asked about her being one of tens of thousands of people who have claimed they saw Elvis Presley, in interview by UP2.

"It was on a visit to Edinburgh in 1988. My friend Nessie Evans and I had went to do some Christmas shopping and while Nessie was reaching up to knock a can of fruitcake off the top shelf with a yardstick she found elsewhere in the store and had carried around with her, I was just looking about."

"Suddenly, there over in the fruit section was Elvis Presley himself holding onto a banana in one hand and a jar of peanut butter in the other."

Susan said she followed Elvis outside and watched him making a sandwich while her friend had knocked off about two hundred fruitcake cans and they had sent for an ambulance.

She watched as the ambulance left and coming out of the alley between the two stores where they had been shopping was Elvis, "with his birthday suit on."

"Those other people I told were jealous. They'd seen him all over the place -this was near a meeting of the 'Elvis Spotters of Scotland' but none had seen him naked."

Boyle stated that she must have swooned because the next thing she knew, she was being pulled out from under the mother of all fruitcake slides with a bruised brow and a large lump on her head.

"It's sort of vague now and I don't remember coming back into the store. Poor Nessie survived but has been a fruitcake, herself for ooover thirty years now."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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