Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 11 November 2012

image for Queen Latifah To Reveal A Secret Many Already Know
Two unidentifed lesbians standing in line to attend a Queen Latifah concert in San Francisco. (Photo taken by Wanda Sykes).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Queen Latifah has spent a lot of time skirting a certain issue that many in Hollywood already know the answer to.

For several years the soul - hip-hop - actress has openly denied that she is a lesbianite. She has stated that just because she was extremely close and intimate with her personal masseuse does not mean that there was anything of a hanky-panky nature going on.

She explicitly expressed in an interview with Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors that she may have been photographed kissing one or four of her back up female singers but that does not mean that she prefers sista's to broutha's in the boudoir.

Several Hollywood celebrities who are openly gay, including Ellen DeGeneres, Jane Lynch, Jody Foster, and Lily Tomlin have stated that the quicker a woman comes out of the closet the quicker she can get on with her fantastic, financially-rewarding career.

DeGeneres explained that this way the woman will not have to worry about being outed by supermarket tabloids such as Say What? and Just Saying or by television talk show hosts such as Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, or Shelia Kinghunter.

SIDENOTE: Queen Latifah is 5-feet-10-inches tall, weighs 210 pounds, and is built like a Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker, so she is really not fooling anyone about her gender preference other than some naive flakes such as Sarah "Snowflake" Palin, Ann "Cornflake" Coulter, or Russell "Fried Flake" Brand.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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