Not bloody happy!
Woke up this morning to find one of HM's Corgis on the bed sniffing around MY 'crown jewels'. Anyway, as I go to push the little fucker off, he quickly dodges to avoid the fall, puts his back to me, which means instead of finding purchase on the mutt's rib, my thumb ends up jammed in the beastly hound's jacksay!!!
Anyways, 3 hours later and with the assistance of a Footman, no-one's discovered the cuntish canine's headless corpse, and what with the impending arranged death of this aforementioned footman, no fucker's gonna!
All's well that ends well eh?...Tally Ho!