HRH Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 19 March 2009

As per the norm, H.M had 'Gay' Gordon come and bore her rigid with his hand wringing and doomladen tales of woe about the country yesterday.

I wouldn't mind if the fact my scotch glass kept unexpectedly emptying itself in his presence was down to a well hidden truth that the Hibernian Horror was a secret lush, but no! Nothing so interesting.

I keep losing drams 'o' Oban and Talisker because the dreary Highlander is as blind as a bat in one eye and as a consequence, unless guided keeps bloody walking in circles right into my occasional table.

Makes the blood boil that such a specimen could be handed the keys to the highest office. I long for the days of 'Thatcher the Hatcher'. Now there was a woman who taught even me a thing or two about sweaty whiskey muddled coitus!!

Damn fine filly!