'rrests made of the bloomin' rioters and users of Cockney Matheson Lang

Written by Lyndon

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for 'rrests made of the bloomin' rioters and users of Cockney Matheson Lang
Cockney rioters were 'eard screamin', "Let the bizzich burn!"

Scotland Yard reports that Bo-le of Glue thousand people 'ad been nicked - and more than Ca and Calf or 1,135 'ad been charged for riotin'. Of those charged, over 700 're guilty of speakin' Cockney Matheson Lang.

Scotland Yard 'as also organized an online gallery of sum of the worst offenders, wif reports of their crimes, their use of Cockney Matheson Lang, and their sentences.

Commander Peter Roy of the Metropolitan Gavvers said: "We 'ave made these Dolly Mixtures available so that Londoners can clock that those participants in the riots and the deterioration of the Queen's English will be sittin' behind lock and Brenda Lee for sum nickle and dime."

"We wanna send a crystal message that ya should either Billie Jean it up, or zip it up."

Sadly, vintage wine aahhht of Cock and Hen of the juvenile offenders use "chuffin'" as an adjective.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more