Modified ecstasy could stop inner city bloodshed

Funny story written by Deafo

Friday, 19 August 2011

Modified ecstasy could one day have a role to play in fighting most forms of the inner city bloodshed currently blighting the lives of law abiding members of society across the UK, according to a controversial drugs advisory body.

A commentator said, however, that liberal usage of the class A substance could encourage the majority of violent criminals currently striking fear into communities around the country to abandon their violent ways in pursuit of a sweat filled nightclub pumping out melody free trance music.

Attendees of a drugs seminar were told, 'By just walking through any town centre on a Friday night in the UK, you get a real sense of the drunken hatred these people have one another, and the general distaste they have for the public at large.'

'The solution is more simple than those in power would credit.'


He went on to outline the benefits of turning the dis-enfranchised youth into an sensitive, all caring band of loved up druggies.

'Just look what happen to hooliganism when ecstasy began to flood the market.'

'Suddenly, these people who hated each other in the most intense way, forgot about the rivalry of their football clubs, their gangs and began rogering any orifice they could work their way into.'

An anti-drug group expressed their outrage at the suggestion ecstasy could have a positive impact.

'To cite ecstasy usage as anything other than something we have totally misunderstood, is a misunderstanding.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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