Crystal Harris astrologer says Friday's eclipse will see Charlene Wittstock 'dump Prince Albert at the altar'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

image for Crystal Harris astrologer says Friday's eclipse will see Charlene Wittstock 'dump Prince Albert at the altar'
Those juicy prenup inducements may have brought Charlene back from the airport...temporarily!

Monaco - The stargazer's advice is widely credited with being behind the knockout blow delivering Harris from 'dire' nuptials to octogenarian viagra guzzler Hugh Hefner.

It saw delicious 25 year-old blond Playboy model Crystal jilt 85 year-old Hefner in a blaze of publicity on the eve of the June 15 lunar eclipse.

At a packed press conference at lunchtime today New York astrologer Celeste Hoodini told reporters runaway Monaco bride Charlene Wittstock will dump her intended 'just like Crystal'.

South African athlete Wittstock's airport getaway attempt this week may have been thwarted "with some juicy prenup inducements" from the Prince Albert camp, Hoodini admitted.

"But come Friday the Cancer solar eclipse will lift the veil from Charlene's eyes," Hoodini explained, "and vindicate a gut feeling about marrying such a dork."

The lavish three day $50-million Monaco wedding is seen by many as a PR stunt to redeem His Supreme Altitude Prince Albert of Monaco's soiled image.

"Sure, Albert's not yet in that geriatric diaper league like Heff," Hoodini added.

"But the entire Grimaldi family's been hexed ever since Grace Kelly's tragic 1982 RIP."

Bookmakers have slashed the odds to even money on Charlene actually turning up at Friday's civil ceremony as rumors continue to swell about the impending nuptial disaster.

The tiny French principality's three day binge has been dubbed a mega magnet for every tax-dodging Eurotrash Z-Lister.

Top of the British royal rubbish heap Edward and Sophie Wessex are due to attend along with dozens of PR famished wannabes.

The partial solar eclipse occurs at 8.53GMT at nine degrees Cancer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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