Mug punters warned as lunar eclipse threatens to overshadow Royal Ascot

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 11 June 2011

image for Mug punters warned as lunar eclipse threatens to overshadow Royal Ascot
Should clean out royal mug punters' betting hopes

Berkshire - A new twist beckons on the June 1st solar eclipse that fooled Queen Elizabeth into backing her third-rate Derby no-hoper Carlton House.

Wednesday's eclipsed full moon is likely to do just as much damage to royal mug punters determined to make up for June 4 Epsom Derby losses.

The 24 degrees Sagittarius occultation takes place in the sign of The (Jeffrey) Archer - a half-man half-beast centaur shooting arrows from a makeshit (sic) bow.

The eclipse is likely to affect talked-up favorites in the Group One Prince of Wales's Stakes 'especially that French-trainer talking horse Plonkeur' according to one betting website.

Also adversely aspected is newly knobbled - er...ennobled! - royal trainer Sir Henry Cecil's hope Twice Over and Barry Hills' Ransom Note.

But it's royal betting in Wednesday's 4.25pm Royal C**t Cup - a Heritage Handicap named after Prince Charles - that's most likely to be jinxed, tipping sources at Aintgottaprayer.con advised today.

"Punters are also likely to hoodwinked into some very daft bets on Thursday as the eclipse's effects continue," website odds-watcher Dave McShergar warned this morning.

"We reckon Gold Cup backers of Aidan O'Brien's Fame and Glory and Luke Comer's Royal and Regal will bankroll bookies' Barbados winter holidays for decades to come, heheh.

"Wanna tip for the Irish Oaks??"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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