Written by mikewadestr

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

The president of landlocked, Belarus, whose name is spelled with some fucking really weird characters that you will never see on a PS2 Playstation… well, that is if you are not shooting the fuck out those weird things with some really fucking weird names… has announced that it has built its own sea in order to take advantage of the offshore oil drilling craze.

"This is opportunity to take advantage of the opportunities that have been bestowed upon our neighbors who have had the luxury of having a part of their country along a sea or ocean. These people really piss the hell out of me", said Belarus president Прэзідэнт Рэспублікі Беларусь. "It is time for us to indulge on oil laden corruption. It is out time to indulge on MTV and American Idol."

"It's time for a new era of oil by the sea.

Although it is rumored that the president did say, 'Shut the Fuck up Skoob', but no one has any idea what a Skoob is. Rumor has it that a Skoob can actually sneak in your bedroom at night and bite your toes off. This may, or may not, be a good thing, depending on what you think about your toes now. Keep mind the county does not have an official website, so I guess, Scooby Dooby Doo is out of the question.

Everyone had to admit that president Awholelotofweirdstuff had pulled off a magnanimous fete (which could be a problem is if his feet are bigger than the rest of us), Not only did he build the sea in a day, which is way shorter than am American Idol season, or even shorter that a Sarah Palin brain fart, which, unfortunately, happens just as much as every member of the US Congress .

Apparently the sea encompasses the city of Minsk and a whole lot or suburbs. When asked how the president managed to get an entire city and suburbsto move without any resistance, Belarus the president yabyyabyyay replied:

"What city?"

Needless to say, Belarus is doing just fine in the oil trade.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Oil, Belarus

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