Ken Clarke clarifies his position on Oilseed Rape

Funny story written by I think I'm funny...

Friday, 20 May 2011


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Ken Clarke clarifies his position on Oilseed Rape
Clarke: "I am a fan of Rape!"

Justice Secretary and Lord chancellor Kenneth (Ken) Clarke has issued a full and frank apology in attempt to clarify his position on Oilseed Rape.

Mr Clarke was forced into the embarrassing climb-down because of comments he made on Radio 4's 'Farming Today', where he appeared to suggest that Rapeseed Oil was less important than other commercial crops like, Olive, Ground Nut or Sesame Oil.

Clarke explained: "On no account did I intend to give the impression that I don't take Oilseed rape production seriously."

Brassica Napus, also known as Rape, Oilseed Rape and Rapeseed is an important crop, contributing £2.5 Billion a year, to the UK economy.

"It was never my intention to cause offense to the Rape Farming Community and would like to express my sincerest apologies if my comments may have been interpreted in this way.

"In fact, one of the great pleasures in my life, is going for long drives in my Jag through the East Anglian Countryside, where Brassica Napus's delightul yellow flower carpets the landscape, making a charming backdrop to ones journey."

At the end of the interview, he added: "You could say.... I am a fan of Rape!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more