Dementia test for Hillary Clinton as speeches deluged with 'ah' and 'er' breaks

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 27 May 2011

image for Dementia test for Hillary Clinton as speeches deluged with 'ah' and 'er' breaks
Relentless slide into befuddled oratory makes Clinton a prime candidate for dementia screening

Washington - A random wordcount of the Secretary of State's speeches has found that for every three scripted words she utters the dreaded 'ah'.

Her latest performance at an Islamabad press conference this morning was reported as verging on the geriatric as phrase after phrase succumbed to a dreadful, befuddled syntax.

"This was especially important...ah... visit...ah...because we...ah...have reached ...ah...a turning point," Ms Clinton drawled with embarrassing confidence.

"Bin Laden is dead...ah... but al-Qaeda...ah...and his syndicate of...ah...terror remain...ah...a serious threat...ah... to us both...ah..." Clinton continued, oblivious that dementia-watch White House shrinks were monitoring every utterance.

Last year Brits voted her one of the world's most annoying after a selection of her top 10 speeches was posted on the web.

And despite huge advances in teleprompter technology Mrs Clinton's slide into befuddled oratory is alarming State Department speechwriters and dementia specialists alike.

"One of her closest advisers should just tell her, Don't Do It Hillary!" a press corps aide commented.

"She's beginning to sound like 96 year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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