London - 'What Is A Realm?' and 'Where is Lord Lucan ?' are some of the tricky items on the official Palace website that continue to flummox the old soak.
An annual medical also questions HM's obsession with roadkill-themed ass-ymetrical headgear after royal milliners MadHatter.con confirmed tin foil liners have been sewn inside the 5,000-strong royal collection.
"It's probably something congenital," royal physician Dr Harold Shipman-Culpepper said today, "we see it running amok through the entire Hitler/Stalin/Hess/Pinochet genome.
"A pity her metabolism can't keep down the medication - but then supposi-Tories (sick) aren't really meant to be digested, heheh."
News of the Queen's dementia test failure has prompted the appointment of a cognitive therapisst ahead of next week's tricky Dublin visit.
Professor Einstein Flintstone, Head of Clinical Psychobabble at the Royal Freak Hospital, will oversee preparations - including daily bleeding with leeches and lancing of boils in difficult-to-reach places.
Hypnosis, Euro-Linguistic Programming and related aversion therapies will continue to dominate HM's treatment regime as the onset of twilight years looms ever nearer.
"She's daft as a brush," Flintstone chuckled.
"Wanna see a pic of her punani tattoo?"
