Secret Service agents feared the worst but they finally located President Biden after an exhaustive five hour search. Things looked bleak when they found no trace of the president after a second pass through every room in the White House but he f…
The Secret Service sounds the alarms this morning as President Joe Biden went missing and his whereabouts could not be determined. The agent that last saw him was with the president in the Oval Office. "He shuffled across the room to the washroom.
People who read misleading news articles have an increased risk of dementia, according to research that adds to concerns about the impact of the news media on the nation's mental health. Roughly one in 10 cases of Alzheimer’s in urban areas could…
US scientists have come up with a fascinating study confirming people who are demented cannot smell 5 common odors that surround us on a daily basis. This study obviously helps people and their families to define if mum or dad is going AWOL so, Ja...
UK scientists have discovered a wonder drug for neurodegenerative brain diseases, including dementia. "Sorry, what's my name?" This drug will give hope to millions of people who tend to forget many things including Jaggedone of Spoof fame. "...
San Diego - Drug company Pfizer has announced that clinical studies have completed and their new drug Cinestop, designed to treat sufferers of Cinementia, has been approved by the FDA and will be available soon. Cinementia is a debilitating form o...
Seventies heart throb, regular pretty boy and quite awful singer, David Cassidy, has admitted he forgot everything he ever sung whilst performing his pop "classics" recently live in California! Sad figure, David, even admitted to his many ageing f...
Britney Spears' new stalker has been sending her old fruit cakes in the mail, it has been claimed. The troubled singer who looks 50 has also been receiving "old dentures and used slippers" along with the old fruit cakes. She has reportedly asked t...
HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a study today positing that the leading bullshit reason why young people feel forced to spend time with their old parents and grandparents is also costly. Dementia is as silent and deadly as an old fart a...
London - "Daft old cow's been reading too many bloody tabloid headlines, what?" the old curmudgeon snarled at Palace footmen today as details of the plot emerged. "Why, only this morning the stupid bat asked me if I'd seen the effin' story and ask...
The NHS is preparing for victims of a new form of Dementia which not only causes memory loss but results in a complete lack of any moral standards. It is call Murdocophobia and the start of the disease has been established as being in Wapping, Eas...
Our brains start to deteriorate from as young as 45, according to a thingy - you know, a wossname - published yesterday... or was it the day before? Anyway, where was I? Oh yes... this thingy, in the online version of the British Medical Journal,...
Washington - A random wordcount of the Secretary of State's speeches has found that for every three scripted words she utters the dreaded 'ah'. Her latest performance at an Islamabad press conference this morning was reported as verging on the ger...
London - 'What Is A Realm?' and 'Where is Lord Lucan ?' are some of the tricky items on the official Palace website that continue to flummox the old soak. An annual medical also questions HM's obsession with roadkill-themed ass-ymetrical headgear...
China has passed a law in order to ensure that children visit their parents. China is way ahead of other countries and believes it is setting an extremely good example to the rest of the world. There are so many lonely people in the world, wasting...
London - (Sordid Stuff): "It's enough to frighten the whorses, alright," is how a British Film Council spokesman described it today. The film starring some old ego-inflated ratbag depicts Mrs Thatcher as the brain-dead moron wife of a KGB gangste...
A study undertaken near Birmingham has revealed that curry may be useful in fighting the onset of dementia. Professor Alan Ghobi, from Aston University, has carried out extensive testing and says that his research suggests that a hot curry once a we...
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