Now that the former head of global al Qaeda has become fish bait, leaders of the various al Qaeda families are jetting to the Sistine Cave in the wilds of Pakistan to elect the new Mr. Big Laden.
Once they enter the Cave, al Qaeda soldiers will roll a large rock in front of the entrance and imprison them until they elect a new leader. There will be two votes each day.
Media from around the world will be positioning themselves in front of the Cave waiting for the signal smoke to emanate from the Sacred Chimney.
Black smoke, a result of the incineration of a male Crusader, will mean no one received a majority of the votes while the incineration of a Wiccan virgin will yield white smoke signifying "Habemus Terrorismem".
