Astrologers rubbish Harold Camping's May 21 Armageddon rant

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 15 May 2011

image for Astrologers rubbish Harold Camping's May 21 Armageddon rant
Aaaaaargh! The next solar eclipse is on June 1st @ 11 degrees Gemini!!

London - An octogenarian US preacher's terrifying May 21 Judgement Day vision is little more than a classic Uranus/Saturn opposition psychosis.

That's the consensus among astrologers who are reminding the public that Harold Camping's botched September 6, 1994 Armageddon claims are still the stuff of ridicule across the States.

The 89 year-old apocalypse spreader has predicted the Sun's annual ingress into Gemini - on the day a triple Mercury/Venus/Mars conjunction trines the planet Pluto - will bring about the long expected Rapture.

His Family Radio religious rants see a Mexican wave of earthquakes straddle the Earth from next Saturday morning, culminating in total global annihilation by 21 October 2011.

A 1,200-strong coast-to-coast billboard campaign is living proof that believers are digging deep to buy their one-way Rapture tickets before the earth swallows them up for rampant godless sinning.

"Yeah, the $$$s are rolling into Pastor Camping's coffers," star chart wizard Dave Perihelion commented on his website today.

"What's the betting he 'disappears' off the radar with his hoard of followers' cash by Sunday night, 23 May, eh?"

Other zodiac interpreters reckon Camping may have picked up subliminal messages in the ether about Friday 20th's astrological currents signalling the death of an internationally renowned female hoaxer.

Online spread betting site Aintgottaprayer.con goes even money on Queen Elizabeth II dropping dead that day at the culmination of her pointless Irish vanity visit.

The next solar eclipse is on June 1st @ 11 degrees Gemini.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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