London - A chilling Libra Full Moon and ominous Mars/Saturn clash mark the start of Samantha Cameron's fifth decade on Monday.
"It's a stark astrological dilemma, like," a Downing Street tarot consultant said today, "and it's gnawing away at Sam's whoremoans.
"Reckon it means yet another baby to patch up the coalition marriage -or shacking up with Clegg-o and dumping Big Dave."
The news comes amid reports that Downing Street janitors found a disgarded pregnancy testing kit in Samantha's boudoir.
It's increased speculation about a New Year's Day birth following the couple's recent fertility treatment during a visit to Granada, Spain.
Monday's zodiac aspects could, of course, also signal a classic phantom pregnancy - 'ghosted' by an unknown alien force.
The couple's three children Nancy, Arthur and Flo are said to already glow in the dark during solar and lunar eclipses.