Written by El Capitaz

Sunday, 13 March 2011

image for Colonel Ghaddafi announces cease fire
Libyan security forces seen here guarding a local elementary school.

Tripoli, Libya - Libyan Strongman/Dictator Muamar Ghaddafi surprised the international community today by claiming to call for a cease fire and military stand down, and expressing surprise and amusement at the uproar over his civil war to retain power.

"The great sovereign nation of Libya, conducting operations as a member of the United Nations Counsel on Human Rights, has been demonstrating the proper methodology to protect civilian human lives while waging war against drug addicted terrorists" a Ghaddafii spokesman said. 

Many expressed skepticism, especially considering that reports on the ground confirm that Libya has continued it's offensive against the rebels.  Many others, however, including the United Nations Delegates from North Korea, China, Venezuela, and Saudi Arabia and many more expressed support for the "Valuable and instructive United Nations Council on Human Rights sanctioned action."

On a side note, some human rights activists who have protested against Khadafi in the past, seemed strangely unaware of the reports of military activity against civilians in Libya; the ones we spoke with were more concerned with how events in Libya have helped drive up the price of oil,  which in turn has helped create a bear market for stocks and plummeting values for IRAs. "Screw Tripoli!" said one. "My Total Return Fund is down 35 percent!" 

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Libya

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