Written by grimbo

Friday, 11 March 2011

image for Australia Expands Detention Beds

Australia is to invest in a major refurbishment of its immigration centre at Christmas Island.

The Australian government has announced that it is to expand all the centre's 1500 beds fro 6 feet to 7.9 feet in length.

The facility, which was built in the early 1920's to accommodate a large influx of immigrants from Indonesia and Japan, is having to be improved in order to take into account the fact that people's average height has increased from 5ft 9 inches to 6ft 3 inches over the last century.

Dennis Obermeier, Director of Immigration Services, explained :

"While it was just blokes coming in from the Orient, we could cope with the influx until they could get processed.

Now that there's hordes arriving from the Balkans and the former Soviet Union, that's becoming a bit problematic. A lot of these dudes are ginormous so we're going to need a shitload of longer cribs or else their feet will be sticking out big time.

I just hope none of their basketball players want to settle in Oz. We'd be really screwed if that happens".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
70 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more