Massive Solar Flare Wipes Out Siberian Town of Novisbriskik

Funny story written by Bureau

Saturday, 19 February 2011

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Although last week's big solar flare knocked out some communications and caused other smaller problems, it was only when the Siberian Train System was restored and made it's way into the farthest reaches of Siberia did the worst damage come to light.

This morning Russian newspapers and television announced that the small city of Novisbriskik in Siberia had been completely wiped out.

"The solar flares must have been felt much more there", stated Russian news channels today. "When trains were able to get through the snows that always knock out the lines there, the whole city of 10,000 residents were gone. Nothing left but shells of buildings and ashes of former residence on the grounds."

Several of these were brought back and early tests show that they are the remains of a dog person and a rabbit lady but scientists now believe that the ashes became mixed on their way back to Moscow.

"No one had any idea that the flares caused such damage", stated a tearful Vladimir Putin. "And, although they all voted against me in my election ten years ago, I feel deeply for these people."

"This is the worst we have ever seen", stated one scientist who asked that his name not be printed, to Western reporters.

"It was almost as if someone had dropped one of those nuclear bombs that wipe out the people but leave the buildings intact. In fact....."

But it was that this point that the scientist was interrupted by state officials and taken away.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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