The Pope attempted to stem the declining numbers of church weddings by offering a 5 year 'no divorce' warranty on all new marriages in his Catholic churches.
This desperate move comes as figures are published to suggest that 60% of all new marriages end in divorce.
A buy one get one free offer is scheduled for the Christmas period, effectively extending the no-divorce offer to 10 years.
A Vatican spokesperson added that the 5 year warranty did not apply to gay, divorced or incestuous couples.
‘Only good Catholic couples will be eligible for this fantastic offer' he advised.