Britain on Terror Alert

Funny story written by Tiptoes

Thursday, 18 September 2003

image for Britain on Terror Alert
Set yourself on Fire? DO NOT RUN

Speaking with their Party Chairman Slimfast McCartney he claimed that they had been alerted by the national health service that there was an epidemic of people coming into casualty with a condition experts have now identified as "SSCS". The source was found to be radio and tv broadcasts put out by George RubbleU Bush. Medical experts confirmed that SSCS or Sudden Self Choking Syndrome was a major concern and people would be warned of any future broadcasts. Slimfast continued.. "Our shadow Prime Minister Toby Liar has written to Mr Bush to insist he have elocution lessons before broadcasting".

This is not the only alert, more recently a major power outage in America caused million of Americans bagels to go cold, "a major disaster" one New Yorker said. Party Chairman Mr Slimfast McCartney again commented "The NSA have discovered terrorist trees have been found committing atrocities against American power plants it has become necessary to warn the public of the dangers." He continued we cannot allow these events to go unnoticed.

Statements were taken from associates of the terrorist trees about the their whereabouts prior to the power black out.Mr Triffid claims he had no association but after examination of his computer equipment the NSA discovered indecent images of numerous oak trees in compromising positions with yew trees. Emails were also traced from the triffids to the trees concerning the power blackout and references were made to world domination and GibberBrit Minister John despot being a weapon of mass obstruction.

Other Triffids who witnessed the scene described the oaks as calm and collective beforehand. A "press the button" inquiry followed the incident to investigate what exactly happened, during the Inquiry there appeared to be some "seriously conflicting" statements given by different triffids and yew trees.These were those who found the trunk lying scorched in the woods after what is now being reported as a suicide mission.

The GibberBrit party say this can not go unnoticed and issued a terror alert to the whole of the UK.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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