Female suicide Bombers to get 72 virgins

Saturday, 15 January 2011

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Female suicide Bombers to get 72 virgins

A long-held belief of male suicide bombers has been that they will get 72 pristine teenage virgins if they die during an act of "Holy Jihad". Now, in a move that will shock many, controversial Imam, Mustapha Fatwa, has announced that female martyrs will also now receive 72 male teenage virgins from Allah if they give their lives during an act of Holy Jihad.

Fatwa explained: "Islam has long been accused of oppression of women, but now we are doing something to address the balance! Why shouldn't our female freedom fighters also receive the gift of teenage virgins from Allah? They too have needs!"

Fatwa is considered something of a moderate among radical hate-mongers and many have critisised his stance. Nima Burka, spokesperson for womens group DMBLBIT (Does My Bomb Look Big In This) said "What an insane notion, why would any women want 72 teenage boys. Think of all the hormones, the sulking, the mood-swings, not to mention the sexual act would be over in minutes. This is craziness!"

Fatwa counters the criticism by explaining "What people are not considering is that 72 male virgins having sex for 1 to 2 minutes each, well, this could add up to an hour and half....maybe two hours! It is no so bad when you think about it! Allah Akbar!"

The row continues.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more