Extremist clerics have changed their minds. No longer will a jihadist who dies during a holy war and ascends to heaven receive the bounty of 72 virgins. There’s a recession, so that number has been cut back to 55 virgins for every warrior. Some…
Ah yeah, this is Rasnash Mujahdi spinning all the latest hits across the Arab world, and this one is going out to all the sexy car bombers – flick the switch and blast to the moon, Alice! (an old reference, but a goody) – and don’t spill any on ya, j…
The strict Muslim countries might show the world. (Holy irony, batman!) Women in Iran are sick and tired and bringing the pain to the men who rule them with an iron boot heel. Some women in Afghanistan must have seen their Iranian counterparts and…
Three Irish jihadists from Kinvara in Co Galway were today jailed following a hearing in the Dublin Supreme Court. Mohammed O'Shaugnessy, Fatima Murphy and Javed O'Connor were convicted of terrorism offences during the busy Kinvara Hate Festival,...
"This has us stumped," said a spokesangel in Paradise. "I mean, do we give them each seventy-two virgins? Do we make them share the same seventy-two? In the latter case, should there be thirty-six male virgins and thirty-six female?" "Or, do w...
On Tuesday morning, a ragtag band of Muslim fundamentalists attempted to tunnel under the Great Pyramid of Giza with the intent of planting and detonating a crude thermonuclear device underneath it. They were instantly annihilated by an intense beam...
In a bid to get hold of Western currency, ISIS has opened a holiday resort in Iraq promising unique extreme holiday experiences. Called Jihadiland, and built using rubble from several dynamited antiquities,the new facility has already attracted 4...
Anaconda, Montana - Ministers at the First Anaconda Pentecostal Church of the Serpent-in-the-Garden are taking up arms against Jihadi terror by casting a hex against Islamic Snake. This evening local Snake-in-the-Grass TV News reported that charis...
A member of the charity organisation CAGE by the name of Asim Qureshi has come to the defence of Satan and described him as a "beautiful and polite human being who we would be lucky to call a friend". The statement was issued by Mr Qureshi, shor...
London - The British Chief of the General Stuff said today the new elite fighting corps(e) will be deployed 'as bait' on stealth missions in the upcoming Game of Sardines against Jihadi scum. Troops disguised in Ali Baba costumes will root around...
Hamish Leonardo Kraftwerker Magee, Chief Druid of Dumfries, (previously known as Third Baron Trevelyan Montague of High Wycombe), has narrowly escaped being sent to Guantanamo bay on the grounds of being a jihadist militant. In in his inimitable...
Radical Islamists are furious following the ritual posthumous baptism of their Prophet at the Tabernac' of the Jesus Christ Church of Lit Saints, Dude (LSD-Moron) in Salt Lick City, which reportedly took place in a service this past Sunday afternoon.
"Absolutely despicable!" stated loyal satire fan Jason Nimknuts when he found out about it. "I knew they could be low, but I would never have imagined them stooping to this! Dumb bastards!" After seeing the famed French satire magazine Charlie He...
Syria - There will be trouble in Lapland tonight where emergency response sledges are being kitted out with a 'Trojan Horse' Santaclaus in retalliation for last night's attack. Witnesses say IS jihadis shot down what appeared to be an evil-looking...
Battle lines in northern Iraq and Syria have fallen strangely silent in the past few days following the latest air strikes by coalition aircraft. In a press conference this morning in Washington, the Joint-Rolling Chiefs of Stash explained the rea...
The British Government announced that it will not be forced into a "knee jerk" reaction by the provocations of the Jihadist terrorists who are currently sweeping through Iraq and Syria. "There will be no boots on the ground or in the air", said Eton-...
According to the Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI), the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIS) has recently surpassed Al Qaeda in social media exposure for their gruesome beheadings and executions. Even terrorist groups pay attention...
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