What better way to tour a nuclear disaster site in Ukraine (formerly USSR) than to be lead by the one of the best-loved characters of our time. A man whose name is synonymous with nuclear disaster? That's right, Homer Simpson, a long-time employee of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant in the United States of America is on tap to conduct the official Ukraine tours of the failed Chernobyl plant and surrounding countryside beginning in 2011.
"We were so lucky to get such a famous character to agree to come all the way to Ukraine and conduct our tours for us," claimed Vladimir Rootintootin, head of Facility Security and Tour Operations at the now defunct nuclear site.
With Homer heading up our tours," said Rootintootin, "it will be no time before the rest of the family, Marge, Lisa, that weird little baby, and Bart, himself, will be a part of the complete tour package. We are even thinking of possibly creating a theme park with the Simpsons as the main draw."
Asked if a visit to the site will compromise the health of the visitors, Rootintootin said that they didn't think so. "Look, everything in life is a risk. You go to any amusement park and you run the risk of eating bad popcorn, getting thrown up on from above while riding a ferris wheel, catching pneumonia from one of the wild water rapid rides at parks that stay open in the cooler months to rake in those off-season dollars. Those are the chances you take when you want to take part in something bigger than yourself."
Rootintootin claims it would be ideal for only the extremely healthy to visit Chernobyl, but admits with Homer as a draw, it may just be that other, less healthy visitors will also want to take the tour. He claims his organization is ok with this but will require everyone sign a disclaimer and a waiver in case of serious harm to themselves or family members years in the future due to possible exposure to any leftover radiation.
Says Rootintootin, "We've kept this area to ourselves for way too long now. It is time we opened it completely up for tourists to come and see what all the hubbub was about. We just ask that they do it at their own risk."
