The Economic Union (EU) today was the first to recognize the fledgling new government of the United States after it was announced that a new ruling coalition of Barry Hussein Obama, and William Jefferson Clinton, had dissolved Congress, reinstated a Parliament form of government and might be bringing back a monarchy!
The breathtaking changes in the US were brought about by world economic conditions and the realization of current ruling legislators, that the job of President is 'just too big for one man with no management experience and and little connection or understanding of America's roots and heritage."
Said Parliament Spokesman Sir Robert Glibb, "It was only a matter of time until we'd join the EU. We've been heading in that direction for the past two years, and it became a certainty as soon as the Duke of Chicago won the 2008 landslide election."
Former President Sir Willy Clinton, Earl of Hope, State of Arkansas, was the logical choice to form the coalition with Sir Barry, said Glibb. "Sir Willy has tremendous curb appeal, a great bedside manner, and is beloved by the nation...he'll be add charm, sophistication, and political savvy to counteract Sir Barry's arrogance, aloofness, and inability to speak articulately off the cuff."
A long time Washington insider said the move wasn't that much of a stretch from existing government in the UK. "We've got the same type of sleazy BASTARDS over here fiddling their expenses, cutting trade deals for their relatives and foreign buddies. Sexually, the sitting congressmen in Washington State want to be women, and the female representatives in California act like they've got balls. Those in Oregon go either way, as long as it's for a good progressive liberal cause. So, you see, we're not much different than the Brits!"
A spokesman for the new coalition said they won't be making the same mistakes that the UK coalition of Cameron-Clegg made. "The first thing they're going to do is announce free tuition for illegal aliens and the off spring of any Union Activists. They'll be no rioting over here, I can promise you that, and the weekly checks , free vacations, 24 hour pub service and closing of the jails won't hurt our majority either!"
The coalition also announced the appointment of British Harridan Harriet Harmon as head of off shore banking relationships where she will be responsible for setting up fiduciary accounts and transfers for illegal aliens who wish to set up wire transfers of distributions of their welfare payments to loved ones in their home country. She will also be in charge of
Pestilence and Plague in her quest to stamp out "Ginger Rodents" where ever she encounters them.
Barreness Nancy Pelosi has been named head of Equality, Health & Safety, and Human Rights and is expected to vigorously persecute victims seeking justice against the criminal elements that form her voting base.
Sir Harry Reid, still awaiting appointment to the House of Lords, has been named to the International Gaming Committee, after spearheading an on line gaming bill that puts slot machines in Rehab Centers, High Schools, Colleges, and in unemployment offices around the realm. He has also won a seat on the FIFA board as Las Vegas & Chicago pursue the 2020 world cup.
While a new budget to pay for more entitlements is still sketchy, The Joint Chief of Staff has been alerted to start making contingency plans to moth ball the Navy Fleet, the Fighter and bomber command, and most of the Army, keeping only the 101st Airborne Rangers, and the Marines who will be designated to protect the new capitol being moved to Sacramento, and to provide security in Brussels for Duchess Hilary Clinton as she assumes her position at the Council of Ministers.
Arrangements are said to be underway to subcontract the Mexican Army to Protect US interests and borders both here and abroad.
Lady in Waiting, Dame Michelle Obama ,said she was thrilled with the changes in the American government, and also welcomed the return of fox hunting in Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Gary, Indiana. "Finally, a sport I can be proud to take part in, " she
gushed while being interviewed by Oprah.
Former VP Joe Biden, now elevated to Speaker in the House of Commons due to in part of his command of the King's English, echoed Michelle's statements. "This is probably a real bad F*****g deal for a fox, but it sure will
brighten up the weekends for the rest of us! Hey, how do you like my new white wig I get to wear....it's the cat's arse innit?"
CNBC got the rights to announce a few more immediate changes to the American Way of Life to reduce the deficit and chose Progressive Screaming Libs Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews to break the news to those Americans now forced into the lower classes:
*Trash will now be collected once a fortnight, and must be sorted in 22 categories for deposit in colour coded wheelie bins.
*Mail will be available but once a week, and must be picked up at the local post office shop.
*All sledding is banned for children under 25 due to 'elf & safety concerns.
*Law enforcement must turn in all their weapons immediately, and rely on good humour, personality, and their sense of reason to deter crime and criminals.
*All maximum security prisons are banned. Inmates will be relocated to sanctuary cities in Boston, New York, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, Philadelphia, and Houston.
*Boxing Day is officially recognized in the US, and is to be celebrated in inner cities with smash & grab events with prizes of trainers, basketball jerseys and video games awarded to participants who can make off with the most loot in a 24 hour period. Extra points awarded for going 3 quick rounds with a cop.
Russia strong man Vladmir Putin was quick to add his endorsement to the announcements:
"It'll be nice to have Alaska back again...I heard the snowmobiling is really GREAT, and I can keep an eye on Anchorage from my Dacha across the strait!"