Mastercarb Now Offers Julian Assange Defense Fund

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

image for Mastercarb Now Offers Julian Assange Defense Fund
Contribute now to the Julian Assange Defense Fund

For no apparent reason, and flatly denying that the creation of the web page and donation button had anything to do with its recent shut down by Julian Assange backed hackers, Mastercarb is now offering a way to send a charge transaction directly to Mr. Assange's defense fund.

"We're pleased to see Mastercarb support a cause and a man who we believe to be innocent of all charges", says one of Assange's lawyers, Howie Dewum. "and the money will go to directly to Julian, less our 60% structured fee schedule".

Mastercarb could not be reached for comment, though the bagel delivery guy who services the Mastercarb corporate offices says that they definitely caved into the shut down pressure. "These dudes lose a lot of money when their site shuts down, like for real", says Bagel Hole delivery man, Tyson Riders. "And that's why they are collecting money for that Wikileaks bum right now".

No confirmation from Mastercarb could be obtained regarding the motives for sponsoring the defense fund addition to their website, but it is clear that the site remains up and running after the earlier shut down. Hamid Karzai, seemed to jump on that same fear bandwagon, suggesting that Mastercarb set up a donation button to support his next election campaign in five years.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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