In surprising turn of events, US citizens fleeing en mass to Mexico

Funny story written by El Capitaz

Friday, 12 November 2010

image for In surprising turn of events, US citizens fleeing en mass to Mexico
The road to nowhere...

As the post mid-term election reality sets in, and US Citizens begin to realize that little will change--and perhaps the political gridlock in Washington might even become worse--the Department of Homeland Security announced today that they are receiving complaints from the Mexican Ambassador that more and more jobless US citizens are moving south to Mexico.

We went to the border ourselves to investigate, and it wasn't long before we encountered John Smith, his wife Nancy, and their three children.

Mr. Smith was laid off from his job as an engineer almost two years ago, and six months later his wife was let go from her position as a legal secretary. Although they only owed $20,000 on a home valued at $295,000, Wells Fargo foreclosed and evicted them in October when their savings ran out and they couldn't make their payments for three months. With the number of US citizens as a percentage of the total population who live in poverty approaching the number of Mexicans who live in poverty, they decided to take a chance and flee South of the boarder.

When informed that Mexico had much stricter laws and regulations against illegal immigration and foreign workers than the US has, Mrs. Smith said "We just want the opportunity to seek a better life, and earn an honest living by sneaking across the boarder illegally. It's not our fault that we had the bad luck to be borne and raised North of the border."

Mr. Smith added that "We are willing to do the jobs that the Mexicans don't want. My oldest daughter is eighteen now, so she could be a Mayor or Chief of Police in one of the violence-plagued border towns. We read about it on the internet here.

I've heard the drug cartels are hiring as well. If I and my two sons worked for them, we could protect my daughter from being assassinated. My wife could maybe work for one of the automobile manufacturing plants that used to be based in Detroit."

"Hell no" said Jimmy, the Smith's 16 year old son. "I aint lernin' Spanish. My teachers told me everyone has to embrace diversity. So they better accept me. I'm gonna be a professional skateboarder, or maybe a professional video game player. So that drug-cartel thing is just temporary."

'Sal Se Puedes' indeed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more