Merkel invites American rock group to get right with immigrants

Funny story written by Cristobal El Gato

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

In less than a week after German Chancellor Angela Merkel admitted that multiculturalism had totally failed in Germany, her spokesman Steffen Seibert said she still sees a chance for Germans and mostly Turkish immigrants to integrate. "Yes, integration is still possible and the government wants to start building the new and better country. And what better way than through music," said Seibert revealing that Merkel invited an American alternative rock band They Might Be Giants to play a free concert by the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin.

One of the band's founding members, John Flansburgh, confirmed Seibert's words. "It's real, we'll do it," he said, "It's not every day that you get to be a part of history and this sounds like the history in making." The band is currently working on a new studio album set for release in the late 2010 and the live footage from Berlin could be included in albums sold in Germany and Turkey. "Yes, this is something we think about. It could be a really cool way to help the Germans and Turks to find a common ground," said Flansburgh.

Seibert admitted that Merkel's first choice was the superstar Shakira, but the idea died after the chancellor was informed that her stage name only sounds Turkish and in reality the singer is Colombian. "There was some confusion indeed," Seibert told Die Welt, "Her name is so misleading. Politics aside, I would still rather see her, but They Might Be Giants were so much easier to contract for the Berlin show. They were cheaper, too. Much cheaper."

The band will play in Berlin on November 22, exactly five years after Angela Merkel assumed her office of German Chancellor. Flansburgh said that they would perform some of their most popular songs including "Minimum Wage", "Your Racist Friend" and "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)."

John Flansburgh also said that on Monday Nicolas Sarkozy contacted the group's management and if the Berlin show turns out to be a success, the band will tour in French Roma camps.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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