A government funded study said to have cost $millions has discovered that a Cricket has the world's largest pair of testicles in comparison to it's body mass, a discovery said to have come as a shock to Tabloid Readers.
The Bush Cricket (no pun intended), aka The Crotch Cricket, was found to have a "PAIR" which made up 14.8% of it's body mass. To put that in perspective Laboratory Testicle Technicians, working without a microscope, said that a 200 pound man would have 28 pounds of testicles under that genetic formula!
The finding also has ramifications in football circles, as the Chelsea Football Club has announced that they will be now known as the "Chelsea Crickets" in an effort to spur fan support after their recent poor showing against the Liverpool Red Sox.
Team Cheer Persons were recently heard practicing the new rallying cry for the "Blues" and especially for fallen star Ashley Cole.
One expects today's contest with Fulham at Stamford Bridge to have the Blue's Fantastic Fan Base all cheering wildly every time the ball get near Cole, "GO NADS....BEAT Fulham!"
Said long time Man Utd fan M. Shuttlecock, "Bollocks! I met that Cricket fella in a bar onst, and That Ashley Cole is no Jiminy Cricket, got balls the same percentage size as a fruit bat, 2.15% of body weight and a brain weighing in at 1.7%....pretty evident to me the BASTARD is a bit lite in both areas!"
