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Funny story: Football Gossip: Derby Female Fans Excited as Cole Signs, Defoe's Cowdenbeath Experience, Beth Mead "Insulted" by Emir of Qatar, Hernandez Love for Argos

Football Gossip: Derby Female Fans Excited as Cole Signs, Defoe's Cowdenbeath Experience, Beth Mead "Insulted" by Emir of Qatar, Hernandez Love for Argos

Arsenal forward Beth Mead has withdrawn from England's squad for their training camp in Qatar. The Lionesses will use the camp to prepare for the SheBelieves Cup tournament in the United States, which starts on 27 February, and this summer's Women's...

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Funny story: Twonk Tweets 'Twats' to Tits then Told off

Twonk Tweets 'Twats' to Tits then Told off

Ashley Cole has been charged with bringing the game into disrepute/improper Conduct over his abusive tweets towards the FA. Cole is said to be devastated at his life being turned upside down and having his good reputation besmirched. The Chelsea l...

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Funny story: Anton Ferdinand investigated over odd betting patterns

Anton Ferdinand investigated over odd betting patterns

Queens Park Rangers defender Anton Ferdinand is being investigated by the Premier League after it emerged that there were odd betting patterns in the run up to the pre match handshakes against Chelsea yesterday. It was well known that Ferdinand wo...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 17th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 17th August 2012

Joey Barton is the subject of an approach from French side Marseille after losing his QPR squad number to new signing Ryan Nelsen. (BBC Sport) I know we love to hate the French, but do they really deserve Joey Barton? The Olympic spirit may have had an effect on Chelsea left-back Ashley Cole, as he gave a young Manchester City fan his Community Shield medal (Metro) EBAY! Frank Lampard, 3...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 6th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 6th August 2012

Blackburn's game against NEC Nijmegen off after 'riots' (BBC Sport) I'd heard watching Blackburn had become tedious last season, but I didn't know it had got this bad. Chelsea defender Ashley Cole, 31, has ruled out a move to big-spending French giants PSG after insisting contract talks over a new deal at Stamford Bridge have not stalled. (Daily Mail) Stand by for an new chapter in Cole's a...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 13th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 13th July 2012

Porto striker Hulk has denied he is close to signing a deal to join Chelsea. The 25-year-old, who is part of the Brazil squad for this summer's Olympics, is happy to remain in Portugal. He's waiting for Chelsea to play in a green kit before he signs an incredible deal. David Beckham will not stay in London for the whole Olympics after he was left out of the Team GB squad. He will instead retu...

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Funny story: Euro 2012: Ashley Cole and Ashley Young 'retired' from international football

Euro 2012: Ashley Cole and Ashley Young 'retired' from international football

The Football Association today announced that the two penalty missers from the quarter-final defeat to Italy are both retiring from international football with immediate effect. Ashley Cole had played 98 times for England, and only days before the...

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Funny story: Euro 2012: England prepare to fly home after Italy defeat

Euro 2012: England prepare to fly home after Italy defeat

England players are today packing their suitcases and preparing to fly back home after the 4-2 penalty defeat to Italy last night. Ashley Cole and Ashley Young who both missed their crucial kicks, have already been offered a pizza advert, followin...

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole goes G.A.Y.

Cheryl Cole goes G.A.Y.

Geordie Warbler Cheryl Cole turned up unannounced at G.A.Y. nightclub last night to promote her new musical offering, third album 'A Million Shites'. After threatening to kick door and toilet staff (allegedly - ed) with her silver ankle boots, the...

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Funny story: Brownian Motion Disproved

Brownian Motion Disproved

Every schoolchild will have, at some time, been shown Brownian Motion. Those little specks or motes dancing around on the surface of a liquid or even floating in the air. The original explanation was that jostling atoms are knocking these motes, c...

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Funny story: Judge me by my on-field displays of childish petulance, pleads Ashley Cole

Judge me by my on-field displays of childish petulance, pleads Ashley Cole

Chelsea and England defender Ashley Cole says people should judge him on the childish displays of petulance that have punctuated his footballing career, not the equally repulsive manner in which he allegedly conducts his private life. Cole, who ha...

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Funny story: Has Cheryl Cole Gone Completely Mental Or What? - Local Man Asks After Seeing Twitter Message

Has Cheryl Cole Gone Completely Mental Or What? - Local Man Asks After Seeing Twitter Message

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, barely recovered from the dual ordeals of sausage flavoured lager and a malfunctioning mobile phone, this morning almost choked on his porridge when he accessed his Twitter account and saw a message posted by former Gir...

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Makes It Abundantly Clear That The Girls Aloud Reunion Tour Will Have To Go On Without Her

Cheryl Cole Makes It Abundantly Clear That The Girls Aloud Reunion Tour Will Have To Go On Without Her

LONDON - Still reeling from being fired by America's version of X-Factor and being dumped by boyfriend Derek Hough, Cheryl Cole has returned to England. She spoke with Loretta Piffinshaw of Ta Ta For Now News and told her that the past year has be...

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Funny story: A Devastated and Heartbroken Cheryl Cole Is Amazingly Comforted By Her Ex-Husband Ashley Cole

A Devastated and Heartbroken Cheryl Cole Is Amazingly Comforted By Her Ex-Husband Ashley Cole

LONDON - The past year has not been a good one for Cheryl Cole. The first thing that turned her happy world around was when she found out that her husband Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole was cheating on her with a bevy of tarts. Cheryl somehow was...

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Funny story: Osama Bin Laden Has Left His Extensive Soccer Ball Collection To President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela

Osama Bin Laden Has Left His Extensive Soccer Ball Collection To President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela

ABBOTTABAD, Pakistan - Reports coming out of the town of Abbottabad are stating that Osama Bin Laden had been collecting soccer balls for over 20 years. Most had been purchased over the Internet from Soccer Balls "R" Us which is one of the world's...

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Funny story: Chelsea Pile On The Pressure In Title Race

Chelsea Pile On The Pressure In Title Race

Chelsea maintained the pressure on league leaders Manchester United last night with an emphatic 3-1 rout of Birmingham City; Kalou and a Malouda brace figuring on the score sheet. It must be worrying for the Blues though, that Fernando Torres exte...

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Is Very Angry At Her Ex-Husband Ashley Cole's "Air Gun" Incident

Cheryl Cole Is Very Angry At Her Ex-Husband Ashley Cole's "Air Gun" Incident

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Cheryl Cole spoke with a reporter for USA DAYBREAK from the swimming pool of her boyfriend Derek Hough's Hollywood Hills mansion, Casa Cha Cha Cha. She remarked that she is quite upset at the recent incident that her ex-husband...

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