The latest government plan to form a close alliance with France will have severe implications for Britain, the Chancellor of Television has announced.
Mr. Jones told us how the hit French TV show Napoleon's Castle was the only reason Cameron had really signed an alliance with France.
"I love the show. I think it's absolutely fantastic. Imagine if we put a load of immigrants through that. It's perfect!"
New rounds for the British version will involve having two teams of people swimming across a lake dressed as aeroplanes before climbing onto a platform and jumping back in. Another will involve carrying a rock of Uranium using oven gloves across a floating British Isles to a floating France.
The infamous "vajazzling" round will also take place, where people will have to go root around in a bucket for shiny goods before fetching the PVA glue, has come under criticism for it being too "dangerous" and "shit TV"
More as we get it.