TOKYO: For decades Japan has held the title for longevity. So-called studies have told us that the average lifespan for both men and women in Japan ranges from age 85-89 with thousands in the 110-years plus category.
Boffins have conducted specious research to tell us its because Japanese eat a lot of rice; eat less meat and more fish; have close family links, etc. etc.
Well the actual truth is that because of poor record-keeping Japanese authorities really have no clue as to how many of these oldest living people - many of those supposed to be around 113 and 116 years of age are actually living!
On Friday Japanese authorities admitted that they'd lost track of a 113-year-old woman listed as Tokyo's oldest because her registered address turned out to be a vacant lot and none of her children had seen her for over 30 years.
Officially Japan has recorded 40,399 people aged 100 or older, 4,800 of which are supposed to be living in Tokyo.
But every time authorities set out to make a friendly visit on a so-called living centenarian all they find are long-dessicated corpses moldering in the front room while 'loving' family members go about their daily activities oblivious of the mummy - while continuing to cash pension cheques!
Gullible Westerners who switched to the Japanese 'long-life' diet have returned to their red meat and white bread fare claiming they'd rather die young and satiated.
The moral of this story is: Be careful what you read in cyberspace. If it isn't from The Spoof.com it simply can't be true.
