Adrian Chiles can go for miles

Funny story written by A MCRORY

Wednesday, 30 June 2010


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No Kermits were licked in the writing of this article

Unlikely heart throb Adrian Chiles, former presenter of BBC's 'The One show' and World Cup pundit is apparently a sex machine in the sack. Ex girlfriend Yaska Moslavic has told me that the blond middle-aged presenter has the stamina of a leatherneck turtle when it comes to love-making.

The former Miss Durex (Yugoslavia) met Chiles at a tantric sex school in Belgrade. The only subject on the curriculum at the school is how to last in bed and satisfy your lover. Meditation and other methodologies ensure erogenous endurance.

Yaska came clean about Chiles performance technique after Adrian quipped that Eastern women are worse lovers than British women.

Yaska said "Adrian didn't know how to make love until I met him and introduced him to the Belgrade school. After we both graduated he became an animal in bed. Then I discovered his secret. He had acquired an Amazonian tree frog from the school's tutor and he was licking it morning, noon and night. It was like Viagra x 100."

A cleaner allegedly caught Chiles licking his amphibian. "I heard the slurping coming from Mr. Chiles dressing room. The door was slightly ajar. Mr. Chiles must have heard me because he turned to the door and he was salivating heavily and he was obviously excited, down… well you know, down there.", indicating the trouser region.

His former co-presenter Christine Bleakley, who was one of the WAGs of World Cup 2010, said, "It all makes sense now. Adrian would go to his dressing room during breaks in the show. I often heard the slurping noises but put it down to his usual eating habits. Come to think of it when he came back to studio there was always 'a lot more of him' if you get my drift. I thought I was the cause! So it was a bloody frog then!"

Chiles was not available for comment but there were strange audible slurping noises on his answer machine when we rang.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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