July 5th Indian General Strike to be Held in Shifts at ITES Hubs of Bangalore, NCR, Mumbai

Funny story written by ronin47empire

Monday, 5 July 2010

image for July 5th Indian General Strike to be Held in Shifts at ITES Hubs of Bangalore, NCR, Mumbai
General Strikes to be held in shifts

The 6:00 am to 6:00 pm Bandh called by various opposition parties is hopelessly insufficient to stop businesses from functioning normally according to various protest groups and individuals.

Former union leader going by the name of AVX Shenoy notes that most call centres in cities like Bangalore have very few employees working in the 9 to 5 shift, which, the current dawn to dusk strikes are designed to disrupt.

Shenoy explained: "These call centers often start work in the nights and are done by about 4:00 am. Our most physically imposing activists are not awake by then and some of them are usually nursing a hangover that early in the morning. So it's very difficult to stop these type of offices from carrying out commercial activities and ignoring our protest.

"We are exploring proposals to conduct Bandh or Indian strikes in other shifts so as to effectively block these devious profit-minded companies hell-bent on providing 24/7 service assurance to clients, and lucrative jobs to those who want to ignore such spontaneous outbursts of public anger."

The Indian Conservative Party and IOPBOI spokesman Thabish vehemently condemned such shut-downs in general and this one in particular, "This whole strike smacks of conspiracy and a self-serving agenda.

"It's very convenient for even call-centers to shut down because July 5th is technically July 4th weekend in the States and no one is going to be asking for a mortgage in America on America's Independence Day."

Mr Thabish when asked to comment on the alleged union leader's statement had this to say:

"AVX Shenoy is clearly an alias of some sort unless his middle name is Xavier, but even if he is a union leader there is little any political party, governing or otherwise, can do about the Earth's dwindling supply of fossil fuels.

"This is not an ideological issue. There isn't enough oil so prices are going to go up for a net importer like India. If the government subsidizes, they'll have to increase taxes and that will lead to another bandh sponsored by people like this."

The people who really suffer are going to be the daily labourers, who unlike call-center employees do through the 9 to 5 shift, and will have nothing to eat because goons who wake up at 8:00 am are going to put a stop to their means of earning an honest living for this particular day.

Sources indicate that the next protest, coincidentally slated to occur on the calendar date succeeding another American public holiday will indeed be held in shifts 2pm to 6pm and then 9:00pm to 4:00pm, with doctors and essential services not affected, but call-center employees thoroughly grounded.

Daily-wage labourers are expected to continue to starve and be affected "emotionally".

Government sources including those in the ITES hubs of Bangalore, NCR and Mumbai were unavailable for comment at time of going to press.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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