As the pressure mounts on the Regime for it's tepid response to the BP Gulf Oil Spill, marital pressure seems to be mounting as well as insiders reveal Michelle is complaining that Barry 'doesn't seem to have any interest in plugging my hole.'
Michelle, known to be extremely jealous as evidenced by her attempts to cut off access to Barry from media Diva Oprah, her high handed exile of several comely staffers who appeared to have the inside track on her husband, and her insistence that her husband undergo a lie detector test after he returns from each overseas junket, is said to be getting more and more irritable and demanding as Barry spends more time away from the marital bed.
Insiders say Barry is looking haggard, is up to three packs of cigarettes a day plus 3 Cuban cigars, is spending longer in the shower, and is getting more irritable by the hour as evidenced by his unpresidential pronouncement yesterday to be looking belatedly 'to kick some ass' over the Gulf disaster.
"He's starting to look a lot like Tiger Woods on his 'No Nookie' diet' said golf course ranger Bret Brookhaven, who commented after a recent round at the local Maryland course where Barry took 6 hours for a round with 3 Chicago aides, and promptly ripped up his scorecard without signing it when he finished up.
Said Bret, "I heard from one of the grounds crew who had to spend 15 minutes raking a trap the President had been in for 12 shots, that even when his group let him have a 'gimmee' when he finally reached the green, he was close to double digits on every hole. He sure looks like a guy that could use a strange piece of ass to me!"
Another insider agreed with Bret. "Listen, his old man was a pussy hound, he's got more half siblings that are Bastards than that Irish Poet Fergus McCarthy could shake a stick at, and it's got to be in his genes. Must be killing him that with all this security he can't just run off an get a little
once in awhile. "
Concerns are now mounting within the Beltway that Obama's forced abstention may lead him to change his sexual preference, not by choice, but due to circumstance.
Bruce Springbothum, a locker room attendant at the White House gym commented, "Yeah...I knew a guy like him in high school. Parents wouldn't let him near a girl afraid he'd knock her up. Poor guy. Finally joined the soccer team just for the opportunity to shower with a bunch of the guys and grab a little ass.....turned his whole life around, really freaked his parents, but heard he's a big wheel in congress now and nobody cares who he screws!"
