Al Gore Volunteers To Cap BP Gulf Gusher

Funny story written by MostlyHarmless

Friday, 4 June 2010

image for Al Gore Volunteers To Cap BP Gulf Gusher
Gulf Oil Slick

Al Gore, distraught after separating from his wife Tipper, has reached a "Tipping Point" in his life, the Spoof can reveal. In an exclusive interview, the veteran politician and climate campaigner says that he fears he will never find his "Holy Grail", that is "The Meaning of Life", the origins of the universe, and a low-carbon economy.

"Since Tipper left with my iPad, the deeds to our new home, my Oscar and my copy of "Avatar", things just haven't been the same. I was so depressed I even considered.... y'know? Then it struck me, what with my campaign against the evils of oil and coal, I was jus' the right guy to get the ol' country and the best president we've had since George Bush out of this terrible mess in the Gulf".

After wiping a tear from his eye with a corner of "Old Glory" hanging behind his desk, Mr.Gore continued "I realised it would mean working with the enemy, but hell, that's no different than the US of A has been doing for years - with Big Oil, I mean. I jus' flew down to the bookstore - that li'l jet comes in handy in emergencies - to get a copy of "Deep Sea Drilling for Dummies" and spent all night looking at the pictures. I called the White House and guess what, the girl on the switchboard remembered me straight away?

I was put straight through to the Oval Office and explained my plan to the president. D'you know the guy was so bushed - no pun intended ha! - with dealing with the crisis, it took him a while to realise what I was talking about. Any-ways, I'm off to the Gulf tomorrow. Wish me luck, and be sure to put this on the front page".

The Spoof contacted the chief executive of BP and asked him what Mr. Gore planned to do. "He's not gong to do anything! We'll fit him into a special reinforced deep-diving suit, lower him into the riser, and increase the suit pressure until it plugs the pipe. We're proud that Big Al has joined with Big Oil, and is willing to make the supreme sacrifice for his country and our profits".

We were unable to reach Tipper Gore to get her reaction, but understand she has teams searching all the Gore residences for her favourite keepsakes, and a will.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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